para
by: wolfmann

manhid, ako'y manhid
magdamag na nakahiga sa sahig
banig, kahit may banig
nakapako ang kamay sa sahig

may anghel na dumaan
at unti-unti akong tinatayo sa aking kinalalagyan
inabot niya ang susi sa sasakyang patungo
sa gitna ng araw at buwan

'di ko man lang alam kung saan ka pupunta
basta't magmamaneho lang hanggang sa may pumara

para na, may maglalakad sa tubig
para na, lumulutang na pag-ibig
para na, 'di na kaya pang kumapit
para na, ayoko nang umibig

tuwid, ako'y tatawid
sa pinasukat na dilim ng langit
lamig, ako'y nanlalamig
habang lumilipad humihigpit ang kapit

may dumuyaw, dumaan at ako'y tinutuksong
bumaba sa aking kinalalagyan
'di maiwasang lumingon sa
lumipas na araw at buwan

'di ko man lang alam kung saan ka pupunta
basta't magmamaneho lang hanggang sa may pumara

para na, ako'y maglalakad sa tubig
para na, o nalilitong pag-ibig
para na, 'di na kaya pang kumabig
para na, parang ayoko nang umibig

para na, kung 'di ikaw ang iibigin..

***

"i don't want a lot for Christmas..." -tenen-tenten-ten-

one two... one two three four..

and it's on. no stopping then. anxiety and uneasiness took over most of their systems, but the hunger to take on the stage was in over-drive. right then, they didn't give a rat's ass for everything else.

treng-deng-deng-teng-treng...

there was a fault in the rhythm. the band members looked at each other. the audience noticed, there was no mistaking it. but they resumed the melody. they faltered but didn't pause.

august 24, 2007. around 900pm. gabriela bazooka and the tongues and grooves was born. rock on. _|..|

***
something to remember. :)
agnes - vocals, sai - rhythm, sudar - lead, ab - bass, dax - drums
we are a great band. yeah. :)

If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul.

If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more.

If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again.

If I knew this is the last time I see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, If I Knew That Today.

one of the reasons why i started to blog was to make an excuse for myself to write. i thought i could write when i was in high school. but then again, i read my poems and my "pieces" [i entitled all of my works back then with "piece ##" then had it sent to my network of friends through edsamail (wuhu! the promise of a free internet... pffft...)] recently and i was um... let's just say i said "ngii.." hehe. and all that time i thought i was poetic. riiight. i even had the guts back then to send it to my classmates' emails. haha. pff.

then a few years back, i had that impulse again to write; hence this blog. see, i was so fascinated with children's books that i wanted to write one of my own. of what then i asked myself. the children's books that i read are either pointless, funny, amusing or weird [but they all have morals... i think]. so i said okay... ill go with pointless and weird. but what kind of pointless and weird? incidentally during that time, me and a few friends were reliving our childhood summer vacations by making and flying kites. see, as a kid, i only managed to fly two kites out of the many that i made. the ones that failed flew for a few seconds, wiggled, struggled for a while in the air, turned downwards, sped up, then crashed. also i didn't know how to properly fly a kite back then. what i did was throw the kite as high as i possibly can, catch its string, then run around the dried rice paddies like a kid trying desperately to fly his kite all the while screaming "yaaaaaaaaa!!!" but knowledge comes with experience and kite-making is now a little more complex than it used to be: bar-b-que sticks instead of tingting, lighter garbage bags instead of heavy SM blue ones [but sometimes, one could always use those], perfect balancing of each side, strings to counteract the tension of the plastic, etc. right, so as i was saying, that's when i got the concept for my story: the kite chaser. it would be about a kid and kites. but i never really had a decent plot for it. i had the images in my head but it just won't fit with anything. i have the title, the concept, but not the story.

and so, a long time has gone already since this blog first came into being. and there were a few shots at writing here and there but i tried. hehe. or at least i think i tried. [i suddenly remember one story ("story") i had cheska edit. hahahaha. *toink* paki delete na lang yung cheska *curses self for even trying to "write" an ass of a "story"*]
-nakakahiya-
...

i also tried to write about personal and [almost] daily experiences but soon found out i'm really not the type to do so. first, there is really not much to share, and if there is, i think i'd rather keep it to myself or with the people involved. second, i am too lazy. i am too lazy for anything [but on taking baths, i do that on a daily basis. hehe. i just had to say that. disclaimer haha] i am too lazy to write and to think what to write. what more to do it frequently? but i think it's just on writing. on other things, i'm just "relaxed" as anj would say it.

riiight.

and now, it's another attempt to write. last night i had the idea of what to write [finally] while my head was spinning as though i'm drunk, but i really wasn't [fatigue took its toll. having nightmares while still awake is really an experience]. and now i have a good excuse why to write. memories are such fragile things, that is why we take countless photos and write journals. it is for the immortalization [immortalization amp] of those memories. but there is little to be shared from me. i've yet to learn more things. what i do not want to forget, are the memories my parents and my grandparents have and the colorful stories they have told. i am saving something which is not my own, but something which i do not want to lose. someday, i'll tell these interesting stories to my children, and perhaps save them the time of having to listen to the boring ones of my own.

and so, here they are. the following stories are told countlessly by my parents, usually when having supper. they are stories about them being children and of how life was like. they are stories of my grandparents, as my parents recall them. sometimes, the stories would be funny, or sad, or pointless or sometimes there won't be a moral to learn. but all the same, these are stories worth remembering. they are stories of my parents' and grandparents' memories and stories, and i begin.

the shirt

tatang was a farmer, and inang was a full-time mother of her children. they lived in a bahay-kubo na bato, alongside the main highway. they didn't have much back then, they weren't really well-off, but they just managed. my father is the youngest of 8 siblings: 3 boys before him, and 4 girls before all of the boys. uncle manny, the eldest of the boys, was already working when my father was still in elementary school. he worked in the US, and one day, he sent a letter home:

"kastoy kwarta ti ipanggatang niyo sa balay. gumatang din kayo ti ano kayat ni dani" [here's money for the household. also buy dani what he wants] *

my father knew what he wanted then: a turtle-neck shirt. i think he saw it in a magazine, and he was really craving for that turtle-neck shirt. he really wanted to have one. and when inang was to about to leave for market, she asked "o ano ti kayat mo?" [o, what do you want?] "gusto ko ng brown turtle-neck" he replies [he half-jokingly says "tartolnek" when he tells us this story]. then he goes on to tell inang the details of the turtle-neck shirt. what size, etc. he even emphasized brown turtle-neck just so inang won't forget. a few hours later, inang returns to an overly-excited and expecting kid. and there it was, inside the bag, a clean and brand new, yellow cardigan.

i can only imagine my father's disappointment. haha.

yeyo!

i whooped forrest gump's ass in a table tennis match. 11-1 baby! yeah!
wuhooooo!
[try it here]
i dreamt of you, you know. Ü
after playing the game for days, i finally beat that ai. yehey!
and what a very nice dream it was. *big smile*
i miss playing the real thing though... *sigh*